How we grieve relates directly to who we are

The one true certainty in life for us all is that, at some stage, we will experience loss.

Coping with loss, bereavement and the challenging process of grieving can impact on our lives in many different ways. The reality of grief is that it can, for a time, overshadow all other aspects of our lives.

Many forms of grief and loss can be experienced throughout an individual's life-time. A grief reaction can be experienced when a job is lost, a relationship breaks down or when someone close to us dies.

How we grieve relates directly to who we are, where we are, how old we are, whether the death was expected or not, our relationship with the deceased, our previous coping history, our previous history of loss, the support available to us at the time and our perception of that loss.

Family dynamics can be difficult after a loss, as people grieve in different ways and at different rates. The grief response can be unpredictable, resulting in a rollercoaster effect, with both good and bad days experienced for a time afterwards.

Grief reactions that may be experienced following a loss can be both physical and psychological. Some of the more physical effects can include sleep and appetite disturbances, physical pain, poor concentration, bouts of crying and chronic fatigue.

Psychological reactions can include a number of emotions such as anger, guilt, loneliness or feelings of isolation and anxiety - all of which are normal aspects of grief and bereavement

There is no set time limit for grief, and remember to do things when you are ready to do them - when it feels right. However, some people may find themselves somewhat stuck in their grief, and may need more structured support to help get them through

Support may be acquired in different ways - through leaflets and other material giving more information on bereavement; by making contact with support groups/finding support from others with a similar experience or, finally, through accessing professional counselling services.

Only a small minority of people will require professional help in the form of counselling after a death. Counselling is not for everyone, and it may be considered, or re-visited, at different stages in the grief process. Professional help may be needed shortly after a death, a long time afterwards, or not at all. For some, one counselling session is enough to reaffirm that what they are experiencing is normal for others, more long-term professional help may be required.

Grieving takes time; it is an individual experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Remember that it is okay to ask for help, and there are a variety of services available to provide professional bereavement services, in the form of information, meetings and counselling.

Approaching anniversaries, birthdays or key dates can be challenging, and as we build ourselves up for these days, we may often be taken by surprise when we experience grief reactions, either before or after the particular date. Again, this is normal, and it may be a case of just taking some time out.

Professional bereavement support is available through a number of organisations nation-wide and can help to support people through the process of grieving.

The Meningitis Trust offers a professional counselling and bereavement support that is available free of charge, and is accessed by calling the freephone nurse-staffed helpline at 1800 523 196, or by contacting the community services nurse, Lisa Slattery, on 01 845 9488.

A bereavement leaflet is also available here